I Never Told You
by CoffeeConundrum
Summary: Sookie makes a rash decision. It changes her life. Everyone's life. She attempts to break the bond that links her to Eric.


**A/N: This is my first story on . Ever! So be gentle with me like I'm your new lover. I know I may not have all the facts right to the SVM since I haven't extensively read the books like I have Harry Potter to the point where it gets embarassing. But I hope you like it anyways, and please give me your feed back! I'd really appreciate it. And now on to the show!**

_Loneliness facing up and down these hallways_  
_Secondguessing every thought_  
_Mystified, just spinning 'round in circles_  
_Drowning in the silent screaming with nothing left to say_

_Everytime I reach for you, there's no one there to hold on to_  
_Nothing left for me to miss, I'm letting go, letting go of this_  
_Lost my mind thinking it through, the light inside has left me too_  
_Now I know what empty is, I've had enough, I've had enough of this._

Had Enough by Lifehouse 

Chapter One ~ Had Enough

I had made my decision. There was no backing out now. Not with Amelia already on her way over.

_I'd made the right choice. _Or at least that's what I kept telling myself. My hands were shaking as I busied myself around the house trying to do menial chores. Of course when I'm nervous I tend to clean and as a result there was nothing to do. Nothing to distract me from reality.

Unless… _Of course._ It had almost slipped my mind completely. My feet took me to my room. Gran's room. No, _MY _room. At least for the time being. My eyes scanned the dresser, the bed, the closet. Everything was in it's place. As it should be. I went to the dresser and made quick work of sliding out the drawers and proceeding to dump their contents unceremoniously onto my bedroom floor.

Hey, it was clean. I'd cleaned it earlier, right after I'd polised off the bathroom which was the cleanest I'd ever seen it. I'd hit my room last. Whether unconciously, or conciously I'm not sure. But I'd gotten it during my cleaning spree. Shined the floors up real nice. There were still shinning, well what you could see through my mountain of clothes. And I hadn't even touched base on the closet yet.

'One thing at a time, Sookie,' I berated myself. But I had to keep myself busy. I _needed _to.

It didn't take long to go through my clothes, including the ones hanging up in my closet. Before I knew it I was done. My Clothes were the last of my things I had gone through. Boxes lined my room. Some said storage, some said good will. I was only taking a few precious things with me. And the money I had been saving up for some time. It wasn't a lot but it was all I had. It would have to do since I hadn't had too long to prepare.

I was sitting on the floor staring at all of my belongings when I heard the doorbell ring. I already knew who it was. The only person it could be. I was on my feet and to the door in record speed. I opened it to see Amelia, who arms were ladden with a bulk of bags. I rushed forward to help her with them. She looked like she was about to topple over. I invited her in and she followed me into the living room. My eyes glanced at the afghan on the couch. It layed there innocently. As if it was just a blanket. But it was just a blanket. I made a mental note to pack it up when I was finished with my meeting with Amelia.

Amelia set her bags on the couch, table, anywhere there was room and immedietly started going through them. She almost dissappeared into one of the larger bags before before pulling out a large cast-iron pot and some utencils to go with it. I almost asked her what they were for, but closed my mouth when I realized it was open. We had agreed. No questions. I didn't want to know what the procedure would be and she couldn't really tell it to me. Top-secret. Witch stuff and vows and what not.

She walked into my kitchen and came back for three of the bags leaving on a few left strewn around my living room. I just sat perched on the couch listening to her banging around. I could hear chopping and things being plopped into what sounded like a liquid.

I was nervous. I couldn't lie about that. But this is what I had decided to do. I had to stick with my decision. It was the only thing keeping me from falling apart at the seams right now. This had to work.

I was staring at a random spot on the wall when Amelia walked back into the living room. She nodded and I got up and we headed to the backyard. Outside the door were two shovels I had laid against the house for this particular reason. I grabbed the more worn one and gave the newer one to Amelia. Even if it wasn't the most ideal situation, I still had my manners.

Amelia took the lead and led us out a few steps and we stopped by a patch of dirt that looked like any other to me, but seemed to be significant to her. She looked at me and said, "Here." I nodded, hoping she could see me.

We went to digging. It was easy to get into a rhythm.

Push. . Lift. Drop.

Push. Push. Wedge. Lift. Drop.

We continued for that like several minutes. I looked up at one point and noticed that it was a full moon tonight. All apart of the plan. I dropped my gaze and it landed on Amelia. She had a layer of sweat on her brow like me even though it was an unseasonably cool night tonight. I noticed for the first time since I saw her tonight that she was wearing a black babydoll dress and some black low-heeled boots. She had put a dash of make up on and the digging had given her cheeks a nice rosy color. She looked pretty tonight.

"You look nice." That's right, mindless chitchat while you're digging a hole. It's all about the distractions.

She paused mid-wedge to look up at me. She managed a small smile, "Thanks."

She went back to digging and so did I. Between the both of us it didn't take long at all to get the hole dug. It was a fairly decent sized hole but not very deep. We weren't burying anything so it didn't need to be. I started collecting some larger rocks to put around the edge. Hey you can never be too safe. For a second I had the image of Smokey the Bear in my head saying, "Only YOU can prevent forest fires!"

I made a face trying not to let a laugh escape, even though I was alone. Amelia had gone back into the house. She came back out with a wire rack just as I had gotten control over my face again. She set it over the pit, centering it. She went back inside again and came out with the large cast-iron pot, and the last of her bags. She set the pot on the rack and started rummaging through one of her bags. A tripod was pulled out and set up then an old book on top of that to which she tumbed open to a page. The book looked like it was about to fall apart. Witchcraft, and anything Supernatural it seemed, the older it is, the stonger.

She gatherd a few more things and set them within arms reach of the tripod on the ground. I took a deep breath and put the last of the rocks around the pit. I still had time to back out. I couldn't. I didn't.

I walked over to where Amelia was standing but left a little distance between us. She pulled out a BBQ lighter and some wood and kindling. She started to build the fire. She had a lot of bags, I observed. She was kinda like a bag lady. I made a face again to stop myself from laughing and I'm sure it made me look constipated. What was wrong with me? Was I finally cracking up? Living up to my crazy Sookie reputation. Nerves. It had to be nerves. I'd made the right choice. I'd made the right choice. This was my internal mantra when Amelia finally stood up from where she was squatted and I saw an ever growing fire in the pit we had just dug up.

Amelia picked up some jars and started throwing dried ingredients into the pot and stirred it methodically. Twice clockwise, one counter-clockwise until it disolved. She repeated the process with a few other ingredients. Most of them looked like house hold spices and herbs. A few held a funny smell. I definitely did not need to know what they were. One smelled like rotting meat. That one tested my gag-reflex.

Amelia finished with the last of them and wiped the nonexistent particles off of her hands and turned to me. I nodded. This part I knew about. I headed back into the house. My foots traced the way into the spare bedroom. I path I knew I could find in the deepest darkness with a blindfold. I thought it would be hard to find this particular ingredient at first. I was sure there was no way I could have pulled it off short of a miracle but whilst going through some boxes in the attic during the Sookie Cleaning Rampage, I found it.

I knelt in the closet where I had stored it and pulled up the rug I had thrown over the hidey-hole . I lifted the trap door and there it was. Right where I had put it after I found it. I pulled up the piece of clothing. It was covered in blood. Crusted and brown. It was old and so was the blood.

I held it in my hands gently even though it slightly disguested me, which seemed to be happening to me a lot lately. I hurried back to the backyard. Amelia was waiting for me with a paint scrapper. Practical I guess. It was better than using her fingernails, or mine. She took the ruined dress from me. The dress that I had been wearing in Dallas when I had sucked the bullet out of _His_ chest. The dress that had gotten not my blood all over it, but _His_.

She began scraping the blood from it, holding it over the pot so that the flakes landed in it. She only needed a drop she had told me. She handed me back the dress and I tossed it to the side, it served it's purpose. Amelia stepped closer to the pot and began chanting. I didn't understand a word of it, it might as well have been Icelandic to me. The pot didn't do anything but start to bubble furiously. Amelia paused to take out a knife this time. She motioned to my hand and I held out my left. I was right handed so that somehow made sense in my mind.

She seemed to nod like I made the right decision and held up the knife to my ring finger . She pressed the tip of the knife to it and pricked it. A bead of blood quickly made it's way to the surface. She squeezed around the puncture until it swelled almost to the dripping point and then held my finger over the pot. I watched as it happened in slow motion, the blood fell into the pot. Now there really was no going back.

Nothing happened again. But only to the pot. I felt like the air was moving now. And It suddenly felt heavy in my chest like I was breathing in smoke. I felt no pain. Yet, I told myself. Having been exposed to the Supe world taught me to never be too sure of something, or someone for that matter. Finally, the heaviness stopped and I exhaled deeply. I inhaled and it felt like I breathing in ice. I almost choked from the shock of it, but kept inhaling anyway. I exhaled again and my throat felt like it was burning. And itchy. I felt itchy. I tried to use my left hand but I realized it was cleanching Amelia's in a death grip and used my right instead. I was right-handed anyways, right? I brought it to my throat like it could somehow make a difference and tried scratching it. It made no difference at all, but at least I had tried. I kept breathing for a few more minutes, gently rubbing my throat now that I knew scratching didn't work, and it seemed to be easing up but it still itched. On the whole it bearable. I had been through much worse.

I looked up at Amelia and noticed her watching me. She seemed to be holding her breathe and let it out when we made eye contact.

"How do you feel?" She jerked her head at my thorat. At least everything so far was going according to plan and there was just justification to how I was feeling.

"Fine," I tried saying but it came out rough and raspy like I hadn't spoken in a few weeks. I cleared my throat.

"Fine," I repeated, pleased that it came out a little smoother. My voice was still thick like I just woke up.

"Good, this means that your essence has accepted it."

I just nodded back. I didn't need to know more than she volunteered to me. That was what we had agreed on. The less I knew the better. The less I knew the less chance I had on freaking out over what I had just done.

She continued,"You have more time since the blood was old. Two hours, four tops, but considering the age of the donor, I would guess less than that. If the blood had been fresh It would have been immediete. But since it was also _ blood that means that I wasn't able to fully break it, more like render it dormant. It's a bit like muting it. The only way to bring it back is another exchange, but you would only need one and it would reopen again. Of course this is experimental since the spell was never meant for Telepaths with Fae blood. Since vampires usually kill Fairies before they could hope to bond with them."

Amelia cracked a smile at her joke. I did too. Then the part where she said "experimental" sank in.

"Experimental? You told me this was an old spell?" I was almost frantic.

"It is. It was created by a witch back in the 1600's. But as far as I know it was only used twice." She was already packing up her things.

Twice? _Twice?TWICE?_ What the hell had I done? I willingly entered into an EXPERIMENTAL spell? Maybe I really was crazy. The last time I checked sane people did not do things like this. But I seemed to be fine. Then again In a couple of hours I might not be.

Amelia noticed my almost rabid look and walked over to me and pulled me into a hug.

"I wouldn't do anything to endanger you, Sookie."

My arms tightened around her for a second. Yes she might. I know she still blamed me for Tray's death. But as soon as I thought it I felt bad. Amelia was still grieving. I still blamed myself for Gran's death. But it wasn't really my fault. But that didn't stop me from thinking it. I felt horrible for thinking this about Amelia. And I was glad for a change that I was the telepath and not her or someone else. I didn't need anyone in my head. Sometimes even I didn't know what was going on in there.

"I know," I whipsered back. Amelia pulled back from our embrace and patted me on the head like you might a child and went over to her last bag. She opened the flap and made sure everything was in it and handed it to me. Then she proceded to hand me a a folded up paper that was thich which let me know that there was more than one sheet of paper in it.

"This explains the bag's contents and instructions to use them. I also included my contact information, so you can reach me if you have any questions." I nodded to let her know I understood.

She added,"And if you need anything," her voice breaking a little bit. And just like that I snapped and started bawling and hugging her fiercly like she was the last thing in the world. She returned the hug though not as tight as I was. But she probably didn't have enough manueverability either since I was squeezing her. She was sniffling but not outright sobbing like I was. I felt like such a baby. But I couldn't help it.

I suddenly realized what I was leaving behind. _Who_ I was leaving behind. My family, my friends, my home. _Him_. I still didn't feel any pain, but I still had time.

After a while my sobs turned into sniffles which turned into deep breathing as I calmed down. I reluctantly let go of Amelia and started wiping away the trail my tears had made. I felt the thick film on my face that only hysterical crying could leave on you. I would have to wash my face, I realized. One more thing to do to distract myself from facing my reality

Amelia looked a little better than I felt. But not much. She at least still had her dignity. But then what were friends for if they couldn't see you at your worst as well as at your best? I hoped we were still friends but I didn't know if we would be down the road. I still hoped though.

I picked up the bag I had dropped during my pity party and went into the house and put in on the floor by the front door. I went upstairs to grab my lone suitcase and my cary on bag which was just my purse which had my cell phone and wallet in it. I stopped in the bathroom to quickly rinse my face off. I used cold water. It helped me clear me head a little bit. I headed back downstairs and set my cargo by the door and went back outside. I helped Amelia pack up her things and then gather together to take it to her car. I loaded up my stuff and went back into the house. I had one final thing to do. Amelia came back in from the car and she had the bag she gave me in her hands.

She pulled out a small clear vial full of lavender liquid. She handed it to me and I twisted the metal cap off of it.

"This is a type of glamour, it will stay until you take the antidote, which is this." She held up an identical bottle full of clear liquid. It could have been water for how harmless it looked.

"Now, for the glamour to work you need to descibe what you want others to see you as. Unless you are specific you would only be changing the things you are describing. You would otherwise look as you are now. Give it a try."

I held up the bottle in salute. I paused to think what I would want to change. Not too much. I don't think I could handle that much right now. I whispered my requests and took a small swig of the didn't have a defining taste, it was like water, tasteless. I felt a curious tingling sensation in my face. The place I had decided to change since it was the most noticeable. I quickly capped the remaining potion and wandered over to the hallway mirror to get a look my "new" face.

The first thing I noticed was that I looked pale. I hadn't been going out into the sun as much lately, so that wasn't new, but the rest was. My nose was a little bigger and more defined, and more pointed. My cheekbones were were a little heavier and healthier looking in a pleasantly plump kind of way. My eyes were brown, normal. But my hair was deep, mahaghony brown. Now that I would have to get used to. I had always been a blonde. But it was also something that always drew attention to me. So I went for the exact opposite.

I held a hand up to my face and poked it. I jumped. I poked a little too hard. It was still my face. Still felt like my face. It just didn't look like my face anymore. I could see it was me from my expression. But unless you _knew_ it was me I just looked like another pretty brunette. I nodded, satisfied, and so did my refection. I was satisfied. I headed back over to Amelia and she took the bottle from my outstretched hand and safely tucked it away. She pulled out another bottle. This one was much larger than the other two. I guessed that was because I would end up having to use it more.

"This hides your scent from Supes, or anyone with a great sense of smell. It also hides your Aura."  
The bottle looked brown like dirt and in no way appetizing. She offered it to me and I took a small sip and felt nothing but the revolting reaction to it's putrid taste. I made a face, and almost gagged. That's twice already tonight. I was on a roll.

"It only lasts 6 months, unlike your other potions which are indefinite." She swiped it from my hand and tucked in with the rest and folded the flap back over in it's place.

"Ready?" She asked.

"Yea, give me a sec, okay? I promise I won't be long."

She nodded indulgently and gave me a sad smile and walked out the door to her car. She was driving me to the airport. I had sold my car a week ago. I only got a grand for it. I was lucky enough to get that for how old it was. But it was in good shape since Gran had always taught me to take care of my things. No matter how old they were. That could have been applied to my life in more than just objects, I realized.

I looked around at the home I had grown up in. In the town I had grown up in. Everything felt so comforting. I breathed in the smell. And for a tic, let my mind get sweeped up in nostaglic feelings of being home. I could almost hear the smell of bacon sizzling. Imagining Gran in the kitchen cooking me a meal and offereing her advice to me. She'd tell me to buck up. And things weren't always as bad as they seemed. And if they were, be thankful because they could always get a whole lot worse.

I sighed, and closed my mind off from the pictures I was seeing behind my eyes in places you can't see. I wouldn't allow myself to go any further than that. I couldn't break down. I couldn't cry. Not yet. I wouldn't allow myself. I refused.

I turned on my heal and walked towards the door mentally checking off my lists.

Pack belongings? Check.

Buy plan ticket? Check.

Leave note for Jason with instructions on what to do with my things and the house? Check.

Break Blood Bond? Well, half check.

I took one last look before I went out and shut the door. I felt like I was rescinding my own invitation. To my life. In a way I was. I didn't know if I would ever come back here. Or see this place again.

The walk to Amelia's car felt long. Each step I took felt like pieces of me were falling off. And I was leaving them there. I made it to the car door and got in and buckled my seat belt. Safety first. And just like that, as simple as putting the car into drive, we were leaving behind _everything_ I had ever known.

The car ride to the airport in Shreveport was long and silent. What kind of conversation do you have with someone when you're leaving them, possibly forever?

'Well thanks for the ride, maybe I'll see you, maybe I won't. It was nice knowing ya!' Yea right.

We pulled into the airport without any hitches. Almost like I half expected Eric to show up accusing me of breaking the bond. Or Bill, trying to reason with me. But no one was at the airport but humans. I could feel it. Eric didn't show up. He had no idea what was going on yet. And Bill was overseas. I breathed a sigh of relief. Finally something went right for me.

Amelia parked and we both exited the car at the same time. She walked me to the gate where my flight was. We stopped and took a long look at eachother. I dropped my suitcase and gave her one last hug and a smile. My face felt tight. I will not cry. I will not cry. I will _not_ cry. I had to bite my lip hard to stop from making a sound.

We both let go and I picked up my suitcase and and walked up to the stewardess checking tickets. I thrusted it over, probably a little too harshly but I didn't really care.

'Damn manners right now,' I thought petulantly. She nodded and handed it back to me. And I went forward, and didn't look back. I couldn't look back. If I did I might just forget about the plan. About everything and march over to Fangtasia and beg _Him_ to take me back.

I was walking down the hallway almost to the door when the stewardess held up her hand as a sign to stop.

"I have a ticket."

"I'm sorry Miss, but the plane is about to take off, you're just too late. Another flight leaves in 4 hours. You'll have to catch that one." She gave me an apologetic smile. Like that made up for everything. I didn't have four hours. I needed to leave now. It was my only chance. Driving would take too long, and I didn't have a car. Amelia had probably already left by now.

Before I could protest I heard a loud boom that shook the hangar. Then all I saw were flames. And all I felt was sweltering heat and the tinges of burning before I blacked out.

**A/N: DUN DUN DUN! Let me know what you think! I've had this story in my head for awhile. I apologize for any grammar errors I have no beta and honestly have no idea what one is besides one of those fighting fish...Please Review!**


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